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If you call everyone who distances “avoidant,” you’re missing the point. There are two distinct patterns that include avoidant traits: Dismissive avoidant • Minimizes • Moves to logic • Says you’re overreacting • Creates distance to calm down Fearful avoidant • Escalates, then collapses • “I can’t ever get it right” • Pushes you away, then panics and wants you back • Swings between closeness and shutdown Both look like withdrawal. The internal driver is different. Dismissive is trying to reduce
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